It’s on.
Dave calls saying we have a free place to stay in New Orleans. He’s gonna be in town for his annual trainer conference.
Joey and Andrew are on board.
The little hand says it’s time to rock & roll!
Our flight leaves Houston at 10am. Joey and I have to wake up early. Andrew and Gerrit keeps the booze flowing until 2am and we don’t get to bed until 430ish. What a start.
I don’t remember waking up nor do I remember much of the drive but we made it to Houston with no problems, got on the flight, and made it to NOLA at about noon. Dave & Jordan pick us up and we all head over to the house on Chartres.
DAY 1
My immediate goal is to find the closest liquor store and buy the biggest bottle of Maker’s I could find. Joey grabs a case of beer and we’re on our way.
We had some great food at a place on Decatur and then went back to the house for a nap.
We headed out around 7 to a sports bar down the road. Had some beer and etouffee. Andrew finally showed up. He’s apparently well versed in where we need to go in the Big Easy, so we headed out with him.
I can’t remember exactly what happened but here’s a short rundown.
Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop Bar – Andrew bought a T-shirt.
Hotel Monteleone – The Carousel Bar – From what I remember, this place was amazing! Revolving bar.
![Hotel Monteleone at Sunset](https://roadofnoreturn.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/2011-06-19_20-28-54_3752.jpg?w=300&h=227)
One Eyed Jacks – There was a $10 cover but Andrew talked the door guy into letting us in so we could check out the stage. It was freakin’ awesome!
When we took off from OEJ’s & ran into an awesome street performance. One guy singing, one on guitar, and this sexy little Japanese woman playing fiddle! I’m trying to get a copy of the video Andrew took of it. Stay tuned!
![Touchdown Jesus](https://roadofnoreturn.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/img_20110618_213226.jpg?w=300&h=224)
We hopped into a cab, destination, Mimi’s in the Marigny.
On the way there, I noticed that the Check Engine light was on. A & J got a kick out of me trying to help the guy with the issue. By my estimation, it was his EGR Valve that was giving him the trouble. I commenced to give him step by step instructions on how to change it out. He was glad to be rid of us.
So Mimi’s is this little bar nestled in a quiet part of town. When you walk in all you notice is the pool table and lack of people at the bar. I thought we were in the wrong place. That was until I heard the bump of soul.
We made our way upstairs. All of the sudden things seemed like they were in slow motion. A smokey haze filled the room, full of beautiful people, all moving to the sexy sounds being spun by DJ Soul Sista (add her, she’s awesome!).
By this point, A, J, and I were feeling fine. Andrew orders a shot of Maker’s for us.
From then on, we were in a downward spiral. All I can remember is Andrew bouncing around the crow, clad in tennis shoes, tiny shorts, and a huge backpack. Joey, tells me he has to go outside. I sit on a couch and start spinning. I head outside to find Joey sick on the curb. I try to nurse him back into the bar. He cries a little. From a window upstairs I hear “you bunch of pussies”. Andrew is squeezing his head through the crack laughing his crazy ass off.
Then I wake up. Day 1 is in the books.
We go eat somewhere and wander around in the sweltering humidity. I don’t think I’ve ever sweat that much.
DAY 2
At this point, I’m hungover.
At this point, I can’t remember the exact timeline.
At this point, I’m just gonna hit the highs (and lows)
I think the most common denominator of the 4 days spent in New Orleans was that Joey was sick the entire time. Not a cold or anything, just sick from the booze. Kid likes to party but can’t hold his liquor (or wine).
Here’s the story of Irene’s……
![Irenes](https://roadofnoreturn.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/irenes.jpg?w=300&h=228)
We get the idea to have at least one “fancy” dinner whilst in NO. Andrew recommends Irene’s.
Quaint little place on Decatur that serves Italian style dishes.
I have the chicken, Andrew has the fish, and Joey has a bad ass steak. Squisito!
We order a $100 bottle Gaja Promis to go with our meal.
Apparently, Joey isn’t a wine fan. But it’s hard to pass up on something this good. He indulges.
Andrew was getting ancy and wanted to head out soon. We still had wine left. “Chug it!”
Joey hesitates, but then downs it.
We pay the bill, Andrew & I get up to leave, Joey says “I’m gonna finish my water, I’ll be there in a few”.
Well, what felt like 10 minutes goes by. Andrew and I are waiting outside. Finally, I go in and see what’s up. I see Joey talking to the waiter.
As the story goes, Joey started feeling sick again. He didn’t want to make a scene so he throws his napkin on the floor and acts like he’s picking it up. He vomits on the floor under the table and tries to clean it up. He told the waiter he did the best he could and apologizes.
So basically, Joey ate a $50 steak, drank some of the best wine in New Orleans, and then threw it all up.
Good times.
DAY 3 & 4
We hit the casino. I won $30 on a penny slot, and then lost $100 on other random games. I shouldn’t gamble.
We hit the Hustler store for some R&R. I had to get a shirt.
![The Hustler](https://roadofnoreturn.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/img_20110620_1753451.jpg?w=300&h=224)
We ate, we drank, we partied.
Andrew went home early and Joey was still hungover. So it was Jordan, Dave & I on a quest to Bourbon Street.
While we walked there a street musician was on his way also. He asked if he could walk with us and play some songs. With drum and tambourine in hand, he gave us the theme music of the evening. We parted ways and went partying.
Karaoke, beads, head butts, and hotties. The rest was just a big blur.
Joey and I said goodbye, hopped on the plane, and made it back to Houston for the long drive home.
I don’t remember much of the trip, but I know I had a great time!
Can’t wait to go back!
Addendum: Andrew just texted me. I left out some stuff
Dave had his conference on Monday. After checking out Hustler, we went to a strip club. It was noon. There was one girl and an older bartender lady who took a liking to Andrew. Joey was still feeling ill. Andrew shared his breakup texts with us. Who tell someone that they “eat dog poop”? Andrew does, that’s who. Hilarious!
After a couple of beers we went to Pat O’s for some Hurricanes. We quickly became friends with the bartender, Kara Liljiberg if I recall. Typical Kara, getting us drunk off tourist drinks. We were well on our way for an epic evening.
We wandered all through the French Quarter. I was looking for a fedora to go with my new shirt so we stumbled into a hat shop. The girl in there was cool as hell. Joey and I decided to do a quick beat-boxing show for her. We’re pretty awesome when we want to be. Today wasn’t the exception. We rocked!
We decided to try and slow down (it was maybe 5pm) so we headed to the river for some fresh air. I took that Hotel Monteleone picture while A&J took off to find a place to piss. Called my dad and enjoyed the cool breeze.
Andrew jogged my memory on this one. Joey and I sat on the porch at the house and serenaded the passer byes with some Bon Jovi. No one tipped us.
We had dinner with Eli and his girlfriend. Can’t remember what I had but Joey’s dinner was flippin’ awesome.
At some point we watched the South Park Shake Weight episode creating a comedic theme for the evening.
If you haven’t seen it, check it here…..
On that note, the book is closed on New Orleans. Anything else is probably better off staying there!
W